Sunday, September 13, 2015

Fake/Vegetarian/Vegan "Meats" -
There have got to be better names

My, I've been remiss in posting.  And super busy with other nonsense of the "reality bites" variety.  Few new ideas have arisen that weren't immediately shot down as "Oh, did you see [X], which is exactly what you were just talking about?"  Sigh.

I'm not a Capitalist in my heart, but I suspect a career in advertising may have suited me.  If you enjoyed the old Wendy's and Little Caesar's commercials, or the adorably bizarre Quiznos spots, or thought that Ferryman's was possibly the greatest commercial jingle ever conceived, you and I are of like mind and should start our own firm.

Of course, advertising is the last step in the process.  The first is product development - I've got plenty of (mostly ridiculous and terrible) ideas for such, which will find their ways here.  The step between development and advertising is, I think, branding.  In today's episode, we look at branding notions for fake lunch meat.

Can you think of a more boring name than "tofurkey"?  Me, neither.  If you're in the process of branding your own fake meat product - and who isn't - may I recommend the following?

  • Pepperphoney: great for your vegan pizza;
  • Fakon: mmmmmmmm...
  • Sham: even God approves of this kosher alternative;
  • Boloney: it kinda writes itself;
  • Malurkey: so bad, it's good;

I've not come up with any for beef or pork - that's your job.  Bon apetit!


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